“My memories have returned, but my mind is still fractured. I’m slowly making sense of who I was, and who I am now. But one thing stays the same, I will do anything to protect my home, my clan.”

Saeber tends to be a quiet and shy individual around people she doesn’t know. Her eyes are normally looking around from some vantage point trying to watch all that is going around her. Those who have been able to get through her shell have found her to be friendly and caring. Those she now calls family and anyone who might bring them to harm have found out how loyal she is to them and keeping them safe.

History:
  Saeber lost her memory during the Seventh Umbral Calamity. After an initial set of tragedies, she fled to the deep Shroud shunning all contact for cycles. Over the last few cycles things have changed dramatically for her. She has found a home, a purpose, and a family with the Orphaned Moon. Found that her father had lived, and another member of the Orphaned Moon is her half-brother. Most recently found the territory in the North Shroud that the Hun’lyl had claimed, her former home, which unlocked her memories and her past.Short Stories:
  Post Calamity Past: The Shroud - Saeber's Backstory since the Calamity to the end of her self-imposed exile.
  Unforgotten - A nightmare reminds Saeber why she stopped trusting anyone.
  The Remembered - The story of Saeber regaining her past.Hooks:
  The Hun'lyl and her past - even though she has recovered her memories, Saeber is still in search of more about her past to help her make sense of it all.
  The Orphaned Moon - Her home, her clan, her family. A group of keepers without a clan of their own seeing to build something new.
  Hunting and tracking in The Shroud - Saeber, as with most of the Hun'lyl, is an expert hunter and tracker. She is built to survive out in the wilds, and can often be found among the trees, if you are lucky enough to see her first.

Commissions

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2024 Miqo'te March

2025

2025 Miqo'te March

Post Calamity Past: The Shroud  The last thing she remembered was looking out of a window in the Twelveswoods with a sense of amazement and terror as she gazed upon the moon which was so close to the world. Then it exploded, sending fragments in all directions. A voice behind her screamed out the name “Saeber” but before she could turn around, she was thrown through the air. There was light and heat; then there was nothing.  The first thing she remembered was the throbbing pain in her head. Then, as the rest of her senses awoke, she felt the heat of the fire and smoke filling her lungs. As the flames began to sear the skin on her back, instinct took hold, forcing her to get up and get away. Her body racked in pain she pushed herself to run away from the devastation. She had no idea how long before her injuries took their toll and she collapsed once more into darkness.  As she woke sometime later, her head still throbbed, the left side of her face felt slick with blood, and she could barely see out of the eye as it was swelling shut. She dragged herself to a nearby pond, and fear filled her heart when she did not recognize the person staring back at her. All she could remember was a voice calling out “Saeber”. Confused, afraid, and alone she wandered deeper into The Black Shroud with only the vague sense of fear pushing her away from the crater that was once her home.  It was not long until Saeber’s body gave out on her once more and she collapsed. Thinking it was the end she let herself fall asleep, for what she thought would be the last time. The next few weeks were completely lost to her, all she could remember was waking up from time to time, feeling like she was moving, and a constant look of a very worried, black haired Miqo’te with azure eyes. It wasn’t until she fully regained consciousness, she started to realize what had happen. The other Miqo’te’s name was Kihvah and she had found Saeber on death’s door. She had treated Saeber’s wounds and cared for her, and she continued to do so for several moons until Saeber’s body had healed enough.  Saeber learned that Kihvah was a member of another group of Keepers that lived in the South Shroud, a group named the Coeurlclaws. Kihvah never said much about them but did promise that when Saeber was ready she would bring her to them, so she would have a home. For about a cycle after the Calamity Kihvah cared for Saeber as they became very close friends. Kihvah taught her how to track and hunt, and how to fight with a lance. She would disappear for days, saying she was going back to get supplies and to check up on the rest of the Coreulclaws.  One evening, when Kihvah returned, she returned with a ‘gift’ for Saeber, her own Coreulclaw mask. This was the night where Saeber’s life changed for the second time. This was the night she learned who the Coreulclaws were, in particular who the ‘King’ was. Saeber wanted no part of it, and ran, fear and uncertainty gripped her heart. For a sun they hunted her through the southern part of the Shroud, but only one was able to find her, Kihvah. The two fought, and somehow Saeber was able to win the battle, killing her former teacher and friend. Devastated by the betrayal she disappeared into The Shroud.  Saeber roamed the forest doing what she could to survive. After what Kihvah had done to her, she was afraid to trust anyone else and was paranoid that anyone who saw her, could just be another Coreulclaw, looking to take her back, or avenge the death of Kihvah. She struck out alone finding, hunting, or stealing food when she could and sheltered in caves and trees away from people.  It was only recently, cycles after The Calamity that robbed her of her past, that the questions of who she was started to overcome her fears. So, she headed towards Gridania; perhaps there someone would recognize her, or she could find some clue to her lost memories.

Unforgotten  They were all giants around her. Saeber’s crimson eyes were wide watching the scene before her. On one side of the desert field was the priestess and the swordman, ripping each other apart. The blood that soaked the ground was slowly creeping towards her. On the other side of the field, the monk and the mage held their titanic duel. The ground ripped asunder, holding the monk in the sky, ice and fire whipping around them all. Between the combatants and Saeber were all the others. Friends, companions, and strangers alike – all cheering on the carnage in front of them - parted just enough she could watch it unfold.  Her eyes darted between the two battles, her mind barely able to follow what was happening before her, let alone comprehend it. They just continued, and grew larger, while she grew smaller. Finally, as the blood-soaked ground reached her feet, hands reached out and gripped her ankles. As she tried to pull away, she noticed the crowd parting and the monk held high above them, turning towards Saeber. With a cruel smile he raised his glowing hand and let loose the aether stored within him, the beam of light flew towards the captive Miqo’te. The white light turned red, like the fires of Dalamud, before it reached her.  With a scream, she reflexively grabbed the stock of her lance and brought it in front of her as she sat up. Gulping for air, face slick with sweat, she prepared for the end that never came. Slowly her eyes opened, and she found herself staring at the clan house in front of her. A few deep breaths later, she dropped the lance to the floor of the tree stand she was sleeping in and pushed back to lean against the trunk of the tree.  After a few more moments as she felt the adrenaline fade from her system and pushed herself to her feet. Looking upwards to the sky she sighed heavily, still several bells before dawn. “Why am I here?” she spoke softly to herself as her gaze fell upon the house once more. With a sigh she leaned down to pick her lance back up and slung it over her shoulder. Quietly she descended the ladder of the tree stand. With one last glance at the house, she pulled the linkshell out of her ear and slipped it into a pouch before heading down the flight of stairs to the road.  For several bells she wandered the roads and trails of the Shroud, letting her feet take her in whatever direction they chose. Her mind was lost in the turmoil, replaying over-and-over in her head what she saw that day. How she couldn’t do anything but step away in fear. How useless she would have been if her friends needed her. She didn’t even know how to give her aether to those who could even do something useful with it. To make matters worse, they were just duels, if it was a real battle, she probably would have gotten one of her friends killed trying to protect her rather than helping.  Every step she took, every time she tried to figure out what she could do different, she grew more frustrated and angrier. As her anger turned into rage she struck out, punching a nearby tree. The sudden pain in her hand helping bring her back to reality and to where she was now, deep in the southern region of the Shroud. Her anger faded and an ache rose in her chest as her eyes slipped down, seeing a cycles old scar, as something had cut deep into the flesh of the tree. With a trembling breath, one word slipped from Saeber’s lips, “Kihvah.”  Stepping back from the tree, Saeber’s heel caught a root, causing her to uncharacteristically fall to the ground. She looked up at the tree and blinked as flashes of another Keeper with short black hair, impaled to a tree by a lance, life fading from her azure eyes seemed to appear before her. “No. Kihvah. I’m sorry,” she said silently as she crawled backwards, the past and the present overlapping. In the past her hand, landed on top of a Coeurclaw mask, cracked and covered in blood - though in the present there was nothing there, only her fingers still curl around air. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” She repeated over-and- over again until the past and present diverge, with her past-self running away.  With a groan she pushed herself back to her feet, rubbing her eyes, as she forced herself to focus on the present once more. With a large sigh she reached down to her side and opened the pouch that was there and pulled out the mask, leaving another smaller, but intact one inside. Slowly, Saeber turned the mask in her hands as she walked up to the tree. For a few moments, her eyes stared at it before she reached out to loosen a strip of bark, large enough that she could hang the mask from it. Taking a step back she sat on the ground and looked up at the mask tilting her head slightly. “Hi Kihvah…been long time hasn’t it?”  Leaning back placing her hands on the ground behind her she continued to look up at the mask. “Sorry I haven’t been around. Not since…well you know. Don’t know why I’m here now, talking to an old broken mask…” With another deep breath she shook her head. “Found some people…in way a lot like you…or at least what I thought you were like. Well, you were like…till you took me to him.” Saeber’s ears flattened and her tail thumped hard on the ground at the very thought. “They…especially one, they helped me…not as afraid anymore…well least I wasn’t, not since a couple days ago.”  With a heavy sigh Saeber shifted her weight forward and crossed her legs, before leaning forward and resting her arms on them. “Went to this gathering, were duels. What saw there. Just don’t know how to explain. There was this energy in the air, but so intense. Couldn’t do anything. If something happened…would be putting them at risk.” Another heavy sigh as she looked down at the ground in front of her. “I’m sorry…not even you…at least what showed me could compare to any of them. Still don’t know how I…how I…” Her eyes lifted, tears filling the edges as she looked at the scar in the tree under the mask. “How got away. You had me…then you died.”  Blinking away the tears she turned her head as the past returned to her vision. The fight between a younger Saeber and Kihvah. As she watched it replay in her mind’s eye, she could see how outmatched she was. Saeber always on the defensive, and Kihvah’s strikes, were not trying to be lethal, but to disarm and disable. The only strike Saeber was able to get through was a glancing blow, damaging Kihvah’s mask and cutting her open. As blood poured from the head wound, she ripped off the mask and threw it down, revealing to Saeber who her huntress was. Stunned the young Saeber didn’t follow up. Their mouths moved as they argued, but no words were given up by the past, and soon enough the battle resumed.  Even more so now, Saeber was on the defensive, not wanting to strike out at who she thought was her dearest friend, and her mentor. Blow after blow pushed Saeber back as she silently screamed, “Why?”. With a thud she was pushed against the tree and Kihvah’s attacks grew in intensity, trying to weaken the young Miqo’te enough to drop her lance, to give up, but it only seemed to have an opposite effect. Even though Saeber’s eyes were held shut as she tried to reduce her profile as much as she could against the barrage, a faint yellowish white light started to swirl around Saeber’s lance. The light caused Kihvah’s attack to pause, giving Saeber the opportunity she needed.  Her crimson eyes snapped open, glowing with their own light as it was her turn to strike out. Gone from Saeber’s face was the panic, gone was the fear, gone with the pain. All that was left was the cold fury of survival at any cost. With each strike, Saeber’s lance glowed brighter as Kihvah was put on the defensive. The heavy blows staggered Kihvah as Saeber slowly turned them around and with a sudden lunge smashed her mentor against the tree, snapping the other’s lance in the process.  Pinning Kihvah against the tree, Saeber’s forearm pressed tightly against the others throat as she let her other hand slide to just behind the point of her lance. With a small smile, the image of Kihvah slowly nodded, her lips move just a bit, but even in the silence of the memory, the message was clear. “Do it. Escape. Survive. For us both.” Glowing white hot with aether, the head of the lance was driven into Kihvah’s chest, impaling her against the tree. After a moment more Saeber’s grip loosened and she leaned heavily against the other’s body before falling backwards. The memory faded away just as the light dims.  The gray Miqo’te, tears flowed freely from her eyes, staring up at the scar in the tree. “Thank you,” she said softly as she slowly pushed herself to her feet. “Thank you for showing that.” She reaches out and gently caresses the cheek of the mask smiling through her tears. “Remember can do now. Now just have to remember how to do. Maybe then, in time, won’t be useless to others.” With a smile and a nod, she reached up to take the mask from the tree and slide it back into the pouch. “Be back. Maybe next time, better memory. Thank you Kihvah, for everything. Think understand why now. Still love you.”  With a heavy sigh she turned from the tree and reached into her other pouch to slip the linkshell back into her ear. As she looked up to the sky she nodded slowly. “Dawn soon. Time to go home.”

The Remembered  In the weeks since the return of Momun and Saeber from Menphina’s stone, the blue keeper had been acting differently. She would still go about and do what was asked of her, but she was distracted, distant, even more so than normal. Oddly still she seemed temperamental, anxious, and on edge. So much so she would uncharacteristically lose her temper and snap at people for some odd little slight that wouldn’t have bothered her before.  Her headaches had also become more frequent and more painful. One night, K’ani caught her going through the supplies in the infirmary, trying to find something that could help the pain. As soon as she was discovered though she left without a word.  In her free time, she would often be found pouring over maps of the northern part of the shroud, ones made both before and after the Calamity, growing increasingly frustrated when she couldn’t find what she was looking for. Even Jhogu’ra would be at a loss at her odd changes of behavior. She would still go to him and spend time with him, more than anyone else. He was the only one she had been able to resist snapping at. But she was distant, lost in thought when her head wasn’t in pain.  The worst though would be the arguments she had with her father. Never growing too loud in volume, but as they got more heated those who were aether sensitive could feel her aether surge before she left to go cool off. The arguments were always about something up in the north. Something he knew but wouldn’t tell her. Until one night when the argument grew again and then just ended. The pressure of her aether disappearing in an instant. Anyone seeing her immediately after would see her smile for the first time in a while. Her mood grew better in the following days, but still she remained distant from the others.  A week or so after that, and a couple of nights after Momun and Saeber returned from visiting the Mark of the Scholar in Mor Dhona, it was a quiet evening in the Orphaned Moon home. Sitting in front of a plate once piled with rolanberreis where anyone would find it were several pieces of parchment folded together, on the outside in rough handwriting it says.  "To the Orphaned Moon, My family.” Opening, in the same handwriting it reads.  "To whoever finds this, please stop reading, gather the others, including my father, let them all hear what I have written.”  Okay I hope you listened. I’m not sure how to say this, so forgive me if I ramble on. But I’m leaving, I must go for a while. But I promise you all I will return. I’m sure all have seen I’ve not been myself lately. And for that I too am sorry. I just feel that I'm so close to the answers I've been looking for these past few cycles. To find out who I really am, where did I come from. Being so close to finding those answers, but not being able to find the last piece. It is beyond frustrating and I’m sorry I’ve taken it out on you. I know I should have asked for help, not push you away. Even now as I write this, I know I am going to do something wrong. But I can’t risk being stopped now, not when I am so close.  I finally got that last piece. Please, do not blame him, and please father do not blame yourself, but I was able to finally convince him to show me on a map where the Hun’lyl territory was. I know I am already breaking the promise I made to you when you showed me that I was right. But I need to go there, I need to see it for myself, where I came from. Ever since my mother’s lance was returned to me, I have felt drawn even more to the north. I’ve started this journey several times already only to turn back. But this time, now that I know where to go, I will only turn back once I find the answers that I seek, if there are answers for me there.  I know I shouldn’t be doing this alone, and well I’m not. I have Relic with me. But The Hun’lyl were a very secretive clan, not even my father knows all their secrets. Until I know them myself, I feel it will dishonor them if I bring others with me. So that’s why I must do this alone. I’m sorry for doing it this way. But this is killing me inside. I am so close now. But this next part, I have to leave you all for a little while. My friends, my family, my loves, this hurts me to do this as much as not. So, to each of you all I leave a small message.  Savarah, my matriarch, this must be a slap in your face coming from me. After what I had gone through. What you went through. But I am not your sister, and even though she still holds my heart this has nothing to do with her. I’m sorry for not asking you first and I hope I am not making you think I am following in her footsteps. But I couldn’t risk you saying no. I hope you understand, and if I am to be punished upon my return, I will face it without complaint.  Jadi’li, my father, I’m sorry if I have put you in an odd position now. Please don’t blame yourself. The way I have treated you lately, there’s no excuse. But we both knew it would happen, I would seek out my former home. If anything, you have made the trip easier, safer, and quicker now that I know where I have to go. Please watch over my, no, our family until I return.  Choh’to, my brother, I still can’t believe we are of blood. Please don’t be upset, please don’t be mad. I will be back, I want to see your cubs, my nieces, grow up. I want to teach them how to hunt and survive in the woods. I want to learn more about my older brother and where he came from. You also owe me a rematch and when ready I want to collect on that, so you know I’ll be back.  K’ani, my healer, I’m sorry I won’t be able to keep my promise for a little while.” There are a couple of lines very heavily scratched out as if she wrote something but thought better, not wanting to betray the Seeker’s trust. “I will do my best not to get hurt while I’m gone. This trip I hope to heal my deepest wounds, your past care will help guide me through it. At the very least, your pastries will always draw me back home.  Vanna, my inspiration, I know you will probably take up most of the burden me being gone will cause. When I get back, I will pay you back three-fold if not more, whatever you consider it should be. But I trust you will be able to be the vanguard to the entire clan I know that you are. I know you’ll be mad at me, so once Savarah is done with my punishment I will face yours as well for betraying your trust, even if it’s as simple as punching me in the face, I will take that and more for the pain I have caused you and everyone else.  Momun, my guide, I hope to be back soon enough so that I don’t miss your next trip to one of the stones. Even though I have been quiet and distant I have been listening. But ever since we visited The Lover’s Stone, and I remembered that I had been there before as well as the name of Runa Hun’lyl. The draw to find answers has become unbearable. I’m sure you can understand, you’re always looking, always learning, the drive that urge it’s what pushes me forward now. If I find any interesting tomes that survived these last cycles, I will bring them back for you as long as they don’t go too deep into the secrets of my former clan. I'm sure you will be as curious as to what is in them as I am.  Thya'a, my friend, you are such a gentle soul, and I have no idea how you will react to this. I have a favor to ask of you. Please make sure my brother doesn’t do anything stupid. One of us half-siblings doing something stupid like this is enough at any one time. I know you would probably would have done this already, but just wished to make that request. I know you will look after him.  Jhogu'ra, my heart, I’m so afraid me doing this will hurt you the most. I am so sorry for what pain this will cause you. I'm sorry for being so distant and not letting you in. Please don’t go back to the fire water. We both know the pain all too well this causes. But for you I will be back, you are my guide back. But you deserve a mate who is comfortable in her own skin, who knows who she is and can give to you all you have given to her.  I don’t know what more to say. I love you all, you are my family. And I will be back I can’t say that enough. I am not abandoning you all, you are the most important people on the star to me, I hope you understand. For when I do return, I hope that for the first time since the moon fell, I will be whole.  Love,
  Saeber Hun’lyl”  The bottom of the paper is stained by what appears to be a few drops of water, still a little wet as if the letter was placed not too long ago. Her signature was even smeared by the stain. A glance out a nearby window reveals a figure standing at the entrance of the gate, a purple chocobo standing beside her. She rubs at her eyes as she hesitates, standing there looking back at the house, as if she is still trying to decide if she can take those next few steps, before finally turning and disappearing into the darkness of the night.  It was only a few hours after Saeber had left the glade that her new family called home that she was found on the road. Jhogu’ra had found her letter and sought her out. The young couple, who had only recently opened their hearts to each other, argued back and forth, the first time she had raised her voice or snapped at him. But he refused to let her go alone, and she eventually relented, with his word that when they reached their destination, he had to listen to her. That out of respect to her former clan, if she asked him to not follow her, he must listen. After a moment in each other’s arms, and a small weight lifted from Saeber’s chest that she wouldn’t be alone, the two set off, turning towards the north.  It was a long and arduous journey. What should have taken a few days, a week, to travel from their home in the southern reaches of the Shroud, to the area marked on Saeber’s map in the far northern reaches, took weeks instead. As Jhogu’ra and Saeber entered the wilderness, Saeber’s headaches progressively got worse, sometimes delaying them for a day while she recovered. At no point though would she entertain the thought of turning back. She was determined to see this through, no matter how much pain it was putting her through.  As they neared the point of the map, following the river northwards, evidence of the destruction in the region was clear. Now rotted trunks of trees that had been knocked down from the force of the impact that destroyed the Hun’lyl home. But amidst all the ruin, new life was starting to take hold. Grasses and young trees had sprouted and grown in the cycles since the moon fell. The downed trees were helpful in another way. It gave them a direction to go, since they all pointed radially away from where the Shard of Dalamud had crashed. It was the one landmark Jadi’li was able to give them. The Hun’lyl had made their home a malm or so northeast of where the crater was now.  When they reached the crater Saeber would collapse, with the worst headache yet. It pained her so much that she would drift in and out of consciousness for a few days. Any time she was awake, what strength she had was mostly spent on arguing with Jhogu’ra about turning back, to head back home that it wasn’t worth it. But she refused to, even while in agony, she feared more that it wouldn’t get better if she did since it had been getting worse before she even left home.  Once she had recovered enough, they moved on, though Saeber spoke little. She was in a trance-like state as they made their way northeast. Another few days passed as they searched, before they finally stumbled upon the remains of a small house. There wasn’t much left to it after most of it had been burned away from the fires. Just some stone in the shape of a hearth and remnants of the frame and floor. Tears started to slip from Saeber’s eyes as she walked around, reaching out to feel where the wall once was, moving so she would enter the home as if the door still stood there. “Kihvah.” She whispered as she stood where her friend’s family had made their home.  Another week would pass as she explored the ruins. The headaches were gone, but in a way so was Saeber. She seemed to completely dissociate with the modern world as she would take the time to mark out where the homes of the different members of the Hun’lyl lived. She would speak extraordinarily little, only a name as she marked out each place. Sometimes she would dig through the rubble, what she was looking for she never mentioned, but would place where they made their camp little miscellaneous items, trinkets.  All the while she would avoid the center of the glade, where remarkably like The Silverwood Glade, there stood the remains of a large tree. It was dead now, most of its branches blown off in the Calamity, but it was one of the few things that still stood after. It wasn’t until she had completed the survey that one-night Jhogu’ra would wake to find her standing in front of the tree looking up at it.  "Home.” She would whisper softly pointing up towards the top of the tree. Though hard to see after the devastation and cycles of change, there was evidence, marks on the tree, that something was once built into and around the trunk. Lowering her hand she slowly walked around and knelt, patting the ground a few yalms away from the central tree. “This is where I fell. This is where she took her first breath, knowing nothing but the pain in her head, the burns on her back and the name, Saeber.” It had been the most she had said since waking at the crater.  Rising back to her feet she made her way back to the side of the tree that faced the rest of the camp. Stepping slowly closer she looked at the tree and downwards. “Something’s not right. There should be a…” But before she could finish her sentence the ground gave way under her. A moment later a thud and a curse could be heard. “I’m okay.” She called out before standing and dusting herself off. With what little light she had she could make out what was once a tunnel, filled with debris and off to the side framed in the roots of the great tree, a staircase leading back to the surface, though they too were covered in debris.  A few minutes, and a rope later, Saeber was back on the surface and gathering a few things. The last thing she pulled out of one of Relic’s packs was one of the lanterns from the glade. After she had everything, she slipped her mother’s lance onto her back and turned towards Jhogu’ra. “Remember your promise. You are not to go any further, not until I’m sure what is down there.” Her voice was distant as she looked back towards the rope. “You can stay here, and listen, I will check in, so you know I’m all right. If I need help or when it is clear, I will call for you.” Before she could give the man any chance to reply, she took up the rope and slid back down into the hole.  Taking out the lantern and opening it up, the flower inside emitting its blue glow and illuminating the debris strewn tunnel, Saeber started to make her way through it. She would spend several bells making her way fulm by fulm. Sometimes having to squeeze through narrow openings. Every now and then she would catch sight of the walls of the tunnel, scorched. When the impact happened, the blast must have traveled through the tunnel, carrying all the wreckage and flame with it. That was until a point.  Suddenly, the tunnel opened, cleared of anything but dust, even the walls were bereft of scorch marks. It was as if the wave of flame and debris just stopped. Slowly panning the lantern across the opening, she spied a large circular door on the far side. Engraved on the door were several images of what appeared to be Miqo’te, and dragons? As Saeber slowly approached the door an odd shadow caught her eye. Turning the light towards it she froze, sitting there huddled in the corner of the opening, was a skeleton, draped in the same style of armor that Saeber was now wearing. “Mother.” She whispered tears instantly filling her eyes as she knelt in front of the skeleton.  She was silent for a while as she collected her thoughts looking at what remained of her matriarch, her mother. As she glanced back towards the tunnel she